We all have our problems while on the road, whether it's making the odd cultural faux pas, taking a wrong turn or feeling a little ill after eating the local food. But some idiots are put on this earth to make the rest of us feel a lot, lot better.
We've tracked down six of the world's worst travellers — you're best advised not to try copying them.
Mark Gower
This fantasist Web entrepreneur decided he would make a stand for world peace in 2008 by walking from Bristol in the UK to
Gandhi's birthplace in
India.
As part of his noble quest, Gower insisted he would do so without a penny to his name, relying on the goodwill and hospitality of others.
He expected to be on the road for two-and-a-half years, but lasted less than a month. His failure came as soon as he left England; Gower had to turn back at Calais in France following language barrier and food problems.
After struggling to find any vegan food in this strange inhospitable land, he soon realised that not being able to speak French was a bit of a problem, too. His attempts to explain his mission fell on deaf ears — and, more than likely, Gallic shrugs.
Tobi Gutt
Being able to spell isn't necessarily a prerequisite for jetting off around the world, but some typos can be a little more costly than others. German Tobi Gutt, 21, discovered this in December 2006, when he set off for
Sydney, Australia, in order to meet his girlfriend. The usual connections of
Singapore,
Bangkok or
Hong Kong were not for Gutt, however — his flight connected in Portland, Oregon, and Billings, Montana in the US.
The somewhat maverick route was down to the gormless German making a tiny error in his online booking; he had bought a return ticket to the oil town of Sidney, Montana.
The online oaf realised what had happened when he got to Billings, then had to spend three days in the frozen American north, with only a thin jacket for warmth. Gutt was eventually bailed out by his family, who wired him the necessary money to get to the Sydney he originally had in mind.
Marko Kulju
The worst that can happen with most attempts to get a souvenir is usually widespread ridicule or a slight wallet hit. But Marko Kulju found himself facing a 8.6 million Chilean peso ($18,715) fine and seven years in jail after deciding that an "I Heart Easter Island" T-shirt wouldn't quite do to the trick.
The dim Finn decided to break off an ear from one of the island's famous moai (giant statues facing the Pacific Ocean). But it didn't quite go to plan. The ear broke off and smashed on the ground, and Kulju was identified by a local woman as he tried to slink off sheepishly.
He was then arrested and told that the local police take defacing the South Pacific's most famous icons rather seriously. Kulju eventually got off lightly; he was fined $17,000 and banned from Easter Island for three years.
Fabrizio Salvini
Airport staff isn't renowned for its cheery good humour at the best of times, so making jokes about security isn't exactly a brilliant idea. But there are jokes about security and then there's Fabrizio Salvini's neat one-liners. After being asked to empty his pockets at the airport in Manila, the
Philippines, Salvini decided to test out his stand-up comedy routine.
"I have three nuclear bombs in my pocket and I belong to the group of Bin Laden," quipped the middle-aged Italian.
Unsurprisingly, his next conversation was with burly policemen then he found himself sweating in front of a judge in a Filipino courtroom.
Glenn Crawley
Dubbed "Captain Calamity" by the British press, retired electrician Crawley was banned from his local Cornwall harbour after repeatedly capsizing his catamaran. Crawley insisted on trying to head off on solo voyages on a vessel designed to be sailed by two, and had to be rescued at least 13 times.
Once the total bill for rescuing the silly sailor had crept above £30,000 ($60,000) by April 2008, Newquay's harbourmaster decided that enough was enough. New rules were drawn up, and it was promised that Crawley's boat would be confiscated if he ever tried to set sail in it again.
Captain Calamity's most spectacular performance came in 2007, when he had to be rescued four times within the space of four hours.
Thomas Strong
There are many ways to endear yourself to locals, but Thomas Strong's method is probably not recommended.
While in Turkey in August 2009, the British teenager decided it would be a brilliant idea to drop his trousers in front of a statue. Waving his bits around and embarking on a swearing fit, Strong continued until offended local boatmen called the police.
Unfortunately for him, the statue was of modern Turkey's founder, Mustafa Kemal Atatürk. Insulting Atatürk is an imprisonable offence in Turkey, and Strong was mightily lucky when he was hauled up in front of the court: he was merely deported and prevented from coming back to Turkey for five years.
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