Redneck republic: America's hillbilly hot spots

David Wilson
Redneck games, Georgia

"City fag" David Wilson grows a scraggly beard, puts on a camo jacket and baseball cap, jumps in a beat-up pickup flying the Rebel flag sets off for the places where godless, baby-killing liberal maggots fear to tread ... America's Redneck Republics.

Everyone knows what Rednecks are into: hunting, country music and working at the auto plant when not being abducted by front yard aliens. But where can you meet this most American of exotic species? Right here, y'all:

1. Indianapolis Motor Speedway

As any moron knows Rednecks love cars. In particular, they like gas-guzzling, enormous f***-you Hummers, hotrods and trucks (preferably gun rack-equipped). Failing that, they are partial to anything that graces a NASCAR stadium. Indianapolis Motor Speedway is the monster granddaddy of them all. It can seat no less than 250,000 beer-guzzling, cousin-marrying, road kill-eating patriots.

2. Emerald Coast, Florida

This Florida resort known less poetically as the "Redneck Riviera" is a family-drive and deep-sea-fishing destination. The nickname is the title of the song that immortalised it, which was composed by Kentucky-born balladeer Tom T. Hall. A sample snatch of the lyrics sums up the atmosphere: "They got beaches of the whitest sand/Nobody cares if gramma's got a tattoo/Or bubba's got a hot wing in his hand."

3. Waterworld, Colorado

Disneyland is just too fancy for some rednecks. A better place to take the kids (all 10 of 'em) is Waterworld Colorado. Slogan: "America's biggest, America's best." Thrill Hill, Lazy River, TurboRacer: the names of the attractions signal that this is simple, primitive pleasure. Whizz. Splash. Yeehah!

4. East Dublin, Georgia

East Dublin wins inclusion as a Redneck Republic hot spot because it hosts the Redneck Games. Lithe, muscle-bound perfectionists need not apply. The Redneck Games are for folk whose athleticism normally extends no further than tossing the empties out the window while pushing the gas pedal to the floor. The Redneck Games repertoire includes the cigarette flip, the mud-pit belly flop, hubcap hurling, a big-hair contest, even "bug zapping by spitball". For each event, the trophy is an empty, half-crushed, mounted beer can.

5. Reno, Nevada

Ladies, y'all put on your leopard-skin spandex. Bubbas get ready to flash the cash because the next stop is that poor man's Vegas, Reno. In truth, rednecks are also drawn to just about any place where roulette is on the cards — riverboat casino cities and Indian casinos are popular. But "the biggest little city in the world" is the number-one draw because, well, it's Reno: a rinky-dink, pretension-free promised land of plenty and excess. Rednecks who win big or tank can hit the brothels or wander off into the desert and pull dodgy Jackass stunts involving rattlers.

6. Sandpoint, Idaho

Why Sandpoint? To some, the town may seem as boring as a Billy Ray Cyrus ballad. But Sandpoint (population 6000) boasts a long lake and a unique claim to fame. It served as the birthplace of Republican Party star Sarah Palin before she moved on to another small town, Skagway, Alaska. The moose-hunting hockey mum who reportedly condones "aerial wolf gunning" strikes a chord with rednecks. Could she one day make it all the way to the top? You betcha! So Sandpoint must warrant a pilgrimage.

7. Bentonville, Arkansas

Like Sandpoint, at first blush Bentonville may not seem to have much going for it. True, as applies to many redneck zones, you can get a lot of house for your money round there. Also, now and then, a tornado takes a swing at it. Otherwise, Bentonville is quiet, real quiet but proud. Indeed, the 90.92 percent white town borders on being a sacred redneck site. The reason: it doubles as the birthplace and headquarters of the world's largest retailer: Wal-Mart. Founder Sam Walton started with a small store on the town square. Now a visitor's centre, it resembles the kind of business that Walton's Frankenstein's monster routinely crushes.

8. Burning Man, Nevada

"How did Burning Man get in?" you ask. Yes, the Black Rock Desert pyromaniac's ball appears an unlikely choice because it lures its share of jugglers and hemp poncho-clad enviros. But like another alternative festival, California's Coachella, Burning Man draws droves of white trash. It makes sense if you think about it: fire, explosions, cars, pounding music, beer. What's not to like for a redneck?

9. Pennsyltucky (rural Pennsylvania)

Truth is: you can spot rednecks anywhere if you get lucky. Even San Francisco. But if you really want to know the breed, go Rust Belt: explore Pennsyltucky aka Pennsylbama (no relation to the rednecks' least-favourite president-elect). How do you get there? Essentially, head for Philadelphia. To see folk who think it wrong to marry outside the family, avoid the metro area. Tour the God's country provincial world of bait shops, bars, diners, bingo nights, shooting ranges, strip clubs, duck shoots and monster-truck rallies. Just make sure you do not run out of gas. Rednecks don't take too kindly to strangers snooping around their backyards. God bless America.

Where would you vote as Australia's home-grown redneck hotspots? Give us your suggestions using the comments form below:

Be sure to check out our photo gallery of America's Redneck Republics by clicking here:

Related link: Check out RALPH's article on the car dealership that gives away a free assault rifle with every purchase.

User comments
Ballarat is by far the most bogan place in Victoria. Step out of your car and you are immediately struck by morbidly obese women sporting tattoos on their flabby bodies. The men ALL wear cargo pants and have 'sleeve tatts'. I believe this is to make their scrawny hairless arms look hairy (="manly") A truly disgusting place! There are many 'no go zones' in Ballarat, reportedly it has a crime rate proportionally worse that Sao Paolo and New York City. The horror!
If I divorce my husband we are still brother and sister right ??????????
Can you please explain to me what a really Redneck really is, the way I understand Rednecks are "people" that drink too much Hunt defensless animal have poor dress sense drive ' hoon'' cars and dislike every minority in this world treat women like a accessory etc etc etc ..... so! how come some of your comments make these 'people' to be like Saints or accept these ' people's behavior as normal in a civilised society do i have the wrong information about Rednecks or maybe You lot have
Ulverstone, on Tasmanias North West Coast for sure. If you want a fight on a saturday night, you cant go past the Swinging Arms Hotel! In there you will find the biggest bogans and losers on the the planet! I have travelled to 11 countries and this pub will scare the living hell out of you!!! So if you want a black eye, a gun put to your head or even stabbed, this is the place to go!!!
Most rednecks and bogans are associated with the dole because of judgementalist morons. The truth is that a lot of them are incredibly hard workers, reliable and generous - they just can't cut it with the HR gurus who don't know crap from clay. Your average bogan or redneck is more practical and down to earth than most.
Hey! I come from a respectable middle class family, and I find bogans and rednecks are easygoing, friendly and accepting when most people just love to turn their noses up. I play the banjo, twirl the firesticks and find that most "respectable folk" are two-faced back stabbers and judgementalists. Thank god for the rednecks and bogans of Australia - I am one and proud of it.
It's been a long time since I've been there but I doubt it has changed... Mount Morgan in Queensland. Ever seen that move - The Hills have eyes! Thats what it felt like - everyone had a beard, a flanno or a singlet and just mumbled and stared. We were stranded as our bike trailer fell apart. No worries getting it welded up though - as usual, a slab of beer did the trick.
Ipswich, Logan, Beenleigh, WOODRIDGE are all 99% bogans. HA...QLD...soooo backwards
Reading all these comments gave me a good laugh. And yes we do have rednecks in Australia, not to be confused with bogans, trailertrash and other species of suburb dwelling sub-primates. The true redneck lives in country towns and surrounding areas and can be seen at watering holes in the evening holding little brown bottles, grunting monosyballic sounds to members of the same sex, all the while eyeing of the female of the species if one is in the vicinity. They generally reside in a structure manufactured from refuse reclaimed from the tip, an old bus or shed, usually held together with little more than spit and baling wire. A true redneck will drive a rusty car again held together in the same fashion as their domicile and own a dozen more for spare parts, their children, and yes they are bountifull generally are unkempt but well loved, it is not unusual for an entire class to be related
Definately Sebastopol near Ballarat in VIC, especially if you hang around at the sale yards, thats when all central VIC's rednecks come out to play. Oh theres so many...... Kangaroo Flat for sure, thats Bendigo's Corio equivalent (i'm from Geelong, don't judge me). I'm gonna have to say Penola in SA, not much there hahaha! Overall Australia is filled with heaps of bogan towns, and thats what makes our country so great!

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