TRAVEL : Holiday types

Do you ride a 'roo? Quirky questions from would-be tourists ...

Do you ride a 'roo?
Do you ride a 'roo?
"My wife and I enjoy walking tours. How long will it take us to get from Perth to Sydney on foot?"
 
Joshua Crouthamel

We come from a land Down Under, and as such, we know the Outback as our own backyard. But what do people from other countries think of us antipodeans?

You've probably been cornered by a Yank overseas and been asked about your pet kangaroo, or taken a Pommie to task when, upon hearing you hail from Sydney, he's asked if you know his cousin Frank from Broken Hill.

An Australian tourism site once posted some of the most beguiling questions received by potential travellers to our fair shores, as well as potential answers. It's been an email favourite for years, but we thought it was worth another look. Any of these sound familiar?


Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I've never seen it rain on TV. How do your plants grow? (UK)

A: We import all of our plants fully grown and then sit around watching them die.


Q: My wife and I enjoy walking tours. How long will it take us to get from Perth to Sydney on foot? (Canada)

A: How long did it take you to do your last 4,000 kilometre walk? Bring a bottle of water.


Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? If so, can you send me a list of all of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?


Q: What is the weather like in Vienna in May? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y.


Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available year-round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful nation of vegan hunters and gatherers. Milk is illegal.


Q: Are the rattlesnakes in Melbourne deadly? Do you sell anti-venom at the grocery store? (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-mer-i-ca, which is where you come from. Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make great pets.


Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? If so, when? (France)

A: Occasionally, and if so than during our Christmas annual leave.


Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go in Australia? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.


So keep a smile on your face and a map in your rucksack the next time you exercise your passport.



What's the craziest question you've been asked about the place you call home?

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User comments
When I was in Rome, a tour group of Americans was next to me. The lady said something about the continents of the world and one of the men yelled "Australia's not a continent!' Quite funny, especially when I told him it was. He was adamant that he was right, and even accused me of being a liar when I said that I was Australian! When my parents were in Egypt years ago, and Egyptian man said "You're Australian, right?" "I have a friend who lives there, do you know him?" my mother was about to point out that Australia has a very large population when he said "Name's Paul Keating, ever head of him?" Obviously it was a joke!
my aunt in america (she immigrated) works at a gym as in gymnastics. one of her co workers wanted to know if it was true that all the school songs in australia is ossy ossy osyy oi oi oi. we said yes, and everytime he walked past, he and his group of 5-6 yearold little kids in leotards yelled it out at us. my sister and i didnt know how to tell him we were lying and that it said like ozzie not ossy lol.
I'll never forget the time I was in the USA and got asked where I was from. Tasmania, I say. Do they have monkeys and lions there? was the next question... No because Tasmania is in Australia - not Africa!
i had my mothers friends grandson ask me and my sister if we had muffins in australia. we also managed to convince him that we dont have buses we just use kangaroos, but all the rich kids rode to school on crocidiles. also that instead of cats and dogs, we would usually have a koala or a little wallaby. cant believe he fell for it, and he was genuinley shocked when my nan told him we just messing around. he had actully believed all that!!! lol.
some of my overseas friends came to visit australia, i introduced them 2 some of the locals, when the locals left i said "see you later", my foreigner friends were so confused by it, and asked "what do you mean?!?!? when r we going 2 see u again?" hahaaa i didnt kno that even simple sayings like that were 'slang'.
I work as a travel agent in Queensland and have been asked some extremely stupid, but halarious questions over the years. The one that tops it for me though was an American tourist on holidays here interested in seeing Tasmania. She wondered why I laughed when she asked which trains would take her there. How could I keep a straight face for that one?!
So many are suprised over the fact that 'Express Mail' just isnt express when sent from our resort 2500kms from a capital city. It takes 10 days for the towns mail to be processed and reach its destination, even with express. Noone believes us. They think when they get home and the package still hasnt arrived, we've gone and lost it or not sent it at all...
To MaryMae of Alice Springs.....Ummmm the movie " Ausralia" is "pompously" called that coz thats what it's about...speaking of dumb aussies
While working as snorkel instructer on the Great Barrier Reef I had an american lady on the boat one day who asked me what time they let the fish out! I had to explain that the fish were already there
A friend of a friend was at a bar in the US. He had a tennis ball with him, which he was throwing it up and down. Each time it landed in it hands he would gasp with amazement. Finally, an American girl approached him and said 'Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice you throwing that tennis ball. Why are you so shocked?' He replied, 'I'm from Australia, which is in the Southern Hemisphere. In Australia, if we throw a ball up, it doesn't come down.' She believed him!

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