Beautifully simple weekend getaways

Best places for a dirty weekend

Sarah Reid
Hilton's Provocateur package (Photo: Hilton Hotel)
The Hilton's Provocateur package is designed by experts.

Sometimes, a box of Cadbury Roses and a posh hotel room just don't cut it in the romance stakes. Ignite your passion by opting for one of Australia's more adventurous, quirky or secluded retreats.

From sleeping under the stars in a luxurious outback tent to teasing your blindfolded lover with a feather tickler in a CBD hotel, there's a cheeky option for every fun-loving couple ...

Longitude 131, Uluru, Northern Territory

There's no better place to camp out under the stars than in the wilderness of Uluru-Kata Tjuta National Park. Don't be fooled by the word 'camping' — accommodation consists of an enormous king-sized bed with crisp white sheets awaiting you in your luxurious, eco-sensitive tent. As one of only 30 guests, you'll have all the privacy in the world to gaze at the beautiful constellations adorning the sky at night, wake to your own private view of the sun rising over Ayers Rock, and fill in the time in between.
Ph: 1300 134 044

Hilton Hotel, Sydney, New South Wales

For couples who need more than crisp white sheets and breathtaking Sydney views to get them in the mood, The Hilton's Provocateur package is designed by experts — an aphrodisiac-inspired degustation platter from renowned chef Luke Mangan and wonderfully naughty tips from infamous stripper Madame Lash. Your room is equipped with champagne, a profusion of rose petals, aromatic essences, 'sexy' music, candles, tickling feathers, blindfolds and artfully hidden 'seduction tips'. If Mangan's freshly shucked oysters don't get you gagging for it, Lash's tips are sure to fuel your imagination…
Ph: (02) 9265 6045

Byron Bay Ballooning, Byron Bay, New South Wales

Calling all romantics: Byron Bay Ballooning offers a weekend package including one-night accommodation for two in your choice of a superior suite at The Byron at Byron resort, or a luxury chalet at the Koonyum Range Retreat in Byron Bay's hinterland, transfers, an hour-long sunrise balloon ride for two, a gourmet champagne breakfast, in-flight photos and a commemorative flight certificate. Spend your sky date ooh-ing and ahh-ing over breathtaking views from Byron Bay's majestic headland, to Mt Warning's massive volcanic rim and beyond. Just pretend the 'driver' isn't there.
Ph: 1300 889 660

Conrad Jupiters, Gold Coast, Queensland

Whether it's the sound of cards being shuffled or the smell of money, there's something a bit naughty about staying in a casino — after all, Jupiters' tagline is: what will you get up to? Dinner and a show is your best bet — the Zingara room and show package scores you a night of indulgence in a luxury superior room, two tickets to the new stage spectacular, and a buffet breakfast for two (or treat yourself by upgrading to the Indulgence package, in which you'll nab champers and fresh strawberries upon arrival, late checkout and valet parking). It's the perfect opportunity to dress up, bet big and roll the dice … Who says this isn't the Casino Royale?
Ph: (07) 5592 8100

Secrets on the Lake, Montville, Queensland

Deep in the Sunshine Coast hinterland, you'll find 10 individually themed tree houses offering discerning couples ultimate privacy. With its floating log fire, hand-carved beds, spa, barbecue, and, get this — a double swing seat — 'The Nest' is the most luxurious tree house of them all. Book an in-house massage to loosen the joints, order fine chocolates to get you in the mood, or simply swing the afternoon away. Your complimentary champagne breakfast basket provides the perfect refuel before round two …
Ph: (07) 5478 5888

Thorngrove Manor Hotel, Adelaide, South Australia

Whisk your white knight or fair lady away to this opulent fantasy retreat, complete with baroque towers, turrets and flamboyant interiors fit for royalty. From the tower room to the king's chamber, each suite is individually themed, providing pure escapism from city life. Think four-poster beds, porcelain baths, log fires, spiral staircases, French tapestries adorning the walls, stained glass windows, quaint terraces, and not a television in sight. What's more, the hotel promises that their service is 'the soul of discretion', so you're guaranteed total privacy to indulge in your medieval fantasies…
Ph: 1800 251 958

Got any of your own suggestions of where to go to rediscover the magic? Share your ideas using the comments form below:

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User comments
What about the Blue Mountains in NSW???
I can't go past Sir Stamford at Circualr Quay. Huge room with views to the heads, and a 'Romance and Seduction Package" - rose petals, bubble bath the works - could not fault it.
unless ure with someone hot and not fat it doesnt matter where u go. if they're fat and ugly then yes it does matter cause ure gonna need something else to b happy about!
What? You think people aren't sexually active in Western Australia!? It's not like we're the biggest state in the country or anything...I mean....gees....
Try Spa Views at Maleny. A huge spa looking down a valley through a full length window. Sensational! The breakfast is to die for!
... hmm... take the train or taxi to the CBD... you can start by going out to town by having dinner with you partner, go for a dance or maybe even to a bar... get relaxed by enjoying each others company... have a walk in the botanic garden and let nature takes is course... if yous know what i mean... then at the end of the night book a hotel... explore each others body all weekend... my advise... "do things you wouldn't do normally outside the BEDROOM!!!
VERY secluded & very private open plan home in Buderim,Sunshine Coast..backs onto the rain forest..has a pool we could skinny-dip in...,spa attached to the bedroom area, we found it on the website "stayz."really good value too.We are going back again.
Not many people know where Blackwood is but it's only an hour from Melbourne in the middle of the forest. 'Suite Blackwood' is a cool little cottage retreat. It's easy to forget the beautiful location and just stay indoors and get down and dirty with a two person spa and wood fire.
Mouses House at Springbrook is a must. Just check out the website - enchanting and very romantic
The best place is either The Emporium in Brisbane in Ann Street or the Sofitel Broadbeach on the Gold Coast . The most important thing is being with the one you love.