Sure, we all love spending time with Mum and Dad. But the prospect of spending a week or (gasp!) more with them on the road is enough to make most of us revert to toddlers and throw a temper tantrum. Joshua Crouthamel has a few simple tips to ensure you not only survive a family holiday as an adult, but possibly even enjoy yourself as well.
Ah, the family holiday. It can bring out the best, and the worst, in all of us. Parents often need a bit of coddling, adult children are likely to revert to mid-teen mood swings, and just about everything is bound to go wrong. But a family holiday for grown-ups needn't end in patricide and matricide. These simple tips will hopefully see you all make it home safe and sound, and hopefully with a few good memories as well.
Space it out
There's a reason most of us move out of our family's home by age 25, and that's because if we had to share a roof with our parents for much longer it would likely result in bloodshed. Adults need their own space, and it's important to remember this on family holidays for grown-ups. Book your own separate accommodation wherever possible so you have a private space to come home to at the end of a day of travel or touring.
If your parents are coming to visit you for a week or more, suggest a long-term apartment rental (which proves far better value and cheaper than most hotels) so they can self-cater and make themselves at home ... without it being in your home. And remember, family rooms at hotels often don't represent better value than two double rooms, and family room space is further compromised. Nothing can ruin a holiday faster than suffering a night on a trundle bed inches away from your snoring father. Splurge on your own digs.
If you're hiring a car, splash out the extra cash on a larger vehicle then you actually need. You'll be glad for the extra space when Mum arrives at the airport with six checked bags, and when Dad stretches out for a snooze in the back seat you'll truly appreciate how golden silence can actually be.
Bottoms up
Make sure your itinerary focuses on your shared interests, or else prepare for a holiday from hell. Identify activities your parents might enjoy (eg, antique shopping, museums, fine dining and happy hour) and see where they intersect with your own interests (eg, shopping, theatre, fine dining and happy hour). You can then focus the majority of your time on common ground (at restaurants and in the pub, in this case).
Choose your battles
When trapped in the backseat of the family car as a teenager, it's likely that "dialogue" with the driver consisted of fights over music, politics and personal taste. Well guess what — the only thing that's changed since the good old days is you are now licensed to drive that car, and Pop is likely dozing in the back. It doesn't matter how old you are; you'll likely continue to disagree on those three topics for as long as you live. So on long road trips throw on some innocuous music, stick to safe topics, and only put your foot down when the oldies really require waking up. Otherwise, agree to disagree and try your best to grin and bear it.
Keep it light
This will depend on your own particular dynamic and relationships, but in my experience the best family holidays are spent with tongues firmly inserted into cheeks. Make sure to rib Dad for his driving, Mum for how long it takes her to get ready, and your little brother for sneaking in during the wee hours after a late night out on the piss. And invite snarky comments on yourself as well. If you can keep the mood light and laughy, your holiday will follow suit. And remember — you're meant to be on a vacation. If you're not getting any R&R, or smiling more than not, something's not right.
Know before you go
It's best to have a good understanding of your chosen destination before heading there with the 'rents in tow. Do some research online and have an idea of what restaurants, pubs, vineyards, parks, beaches and sights might suit. You might even consider taking the crew to a place you've been before, and you can play tour guide (Mum will be so proud). The fewer surprises along the way, the easier it is to control your parents' expectations. And after this many years, you know them far better than their travel agent, and can pick and choose experiences you'll all enjoy.
Pack your sense of humour (and a few Valiums) and don't sweat the small stuff. A successful grown-up family holiday is marked by all parties arriving home alive and with minimal scarring (both physical and emotional), but if you follow the tips above you might score the best souvenir going — and actually have a great time.
Have you ever gone on holiday with your family as an adult? Do you have any tips to survive trips with the oldies?
